A letter to Stephen Harper
Dear Stephen Harper,
How’s she goin’, Steve?
I see you’re on the job hunt again.
I know being in the job market right now is a tough row to hoe, the way the economy went down the toilet so fast after only two-years of a Conservative government.
We’ve had a pretty hard go of it here on the Miramichi in particular, Steve. Most of the people I grew up with have had to leave home to go look for work out west. You remember the Miramichi, don’t ya?
It’s where the federal gun registry is, the one you swore up and down you’d get rid of if you won the 2006 election. In case you forgot, Steve, it’s still here, with a new sign on the door. Funny, I haven’t heard you mention it in quite a while. But you’re a busy man.
You’ve been awfully busy the last few days apologizing for all the Conservative Party members and hangers-on who’ve been putting their feet in their mouths one after another.
What’s wrong with you, Steve?
You’ve been so good for two years at keeping your people gagged. Now, two days can’t go by where one of them doesn’t offend half the country. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think it was their way of getting back at you for keeping them under your thumb for so long.
For example, your agriculture minister, what’s his name? Sounds like a cracker?
Oh, yeah, Gerry Ritz. Ritz is making things pretty difficult for you right now, isn’t he?
I know Canadians are mad at you for not firing him after he made a joke about people eating contaminated meat and dying, but I understand the middle of an election campaign is no time to be firing cabinet ministers. You can always do that after he wins his seat, right Steve?
What was it he said again?
Oh yeah. Ritz called the situation “death by a thousand cuts – or should I say cold cuts.”
He also said he hoped Liberal agriculture critic Wayne Easter was dead when he heard there was a poisoned meat fatality on P.E.I.
I meet Wayne Easter once, Steve, at a shindig at Stanley Bridge, P.E.I. in 2001. He seemed like a decent fella. I don’t remember much about his speech that night, but he didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who found dying from a poisoned sandwich funny.
You want some advice, Steve?
Loose lips sink ships.
You wanna get your job back, you gotta get your people under control.
Remind them that the xenophobic, homophobic, sexist bigot Reform Party days are over.
Or have your members just been wearing Conservative Party coats over their Reform Party underwear all this time and now suddenly have the urge to show their true colours?
Good luck, buddy. You're gonna need it.
Yours,
Dan Benoit
How’s she goin’, Steve?
I see you’re on the job hunt again.
I know being in the job market right now is a tough row to hoe, the way the economy went down the toilet so fast after only two-years of a Conservative government.
We’ve had a pretty hard go of it here on the Miramichi in particular, Steve. Most of the people I grew up with have had to leave home to go look for work out west. You remember the Miramichi, don’t ya?
It’s where the federal gun registry is, the one you swore up and down you’d get rid of if you won the 2006 election. In case you forgot, Steve, it’s still here, with a new sign on the door. Funny, I haven’t heard you mention it in quite a while. But you’re a busy man.
You’ve been awfully busy the last few days apologizing for all the Conservative Party members and hangers-on who’ve been putting their feet in their mouths one after another.
What’s wrong with you, Steve?
You’ve been so good for two years at keeping your people gagged. Now, two days can’t go by where one of them doesn’t offend half the country. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think it was their way of getting back at you for keeping them under your thumb for so long.
For example, your agriculture minister, what’s his name? Sounds like a cracker?
Oh, yeah, Gerry Ritz. Ritz is making things pretty difficult for you right now, isn’t he?
I know Canadians are mad at you for not firing him after he made a joke about people eating contaminated meat and dying, but I understand the middle of an election campaign is no time to be firing cabinet ministers. You can always do that after he wins his seat, right Steve?
What was it he said again?
Oh yeah. Ritz called the situation “death by a thousand cuts – or should I say cold cuts.”
He also said he hoped Liberal agriculture critic Wayne Easter was dead when he heard there was a poisoned meat fatality on P.E.I.
I meet Wayne Easter once, Steve, at a shindig at Stanley Bridge, P.E.I. in 2001. He seemed like a decent fella. I don’t remember much about his speech that night, but he didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who found dying from a poisoned sandwich funny.
You want some advice, Steve?
Loose lips sink ships.
You wanna get your job back, you gotta get your people under control.
Remind them that the xenophobic, homophobic, sexist bigot Reform Party days are over.
Or have your members just been wearing Conservative Party coats over their Reform Party underwear all this time and now suddenly have the urge to show their true colours?
Good luck, buddy. You're gonna need it.
Yours,
Dan Benoit
posted by Street Wise Guy | 7:11 AM
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